Chapter Thirty-One

Deeper

Uploaded on 5/22/07

Nearly two weeks passed in relatively the same manner. Boyd spent a lot of time wandering around the city and slowly getting closer to sketching the areas he thought were actually pertinent to their assignment. His exploration of Monterrey took him through many different areas and he slowly began getting more comfortable with the culture and the language of the people. He was out more days than not and as usual, he and Sin had generally conflicting schedules. However that did not cool the new sexual energy that radiated between them and after awhile they began to grow more comfortable with each other in that way. As the days passed, Boyd began leaving his shirt open at times and occasionally going entirely shirtless. Part of the reason he did this was to get himself accustomed to the feeling, to continually force himself to deal with the vulnerability it inspired in him so that he could eventually get over it entirely.

However despite his efforts and their intimacy, Boyd was starting to get a little impatient. He was trying to be understanding of Sin's lack of experience, but the more he felt Sin's bare skin against his own the more he really wanted to do things other than mutual masturbation and oral sex. Boyd had never thought he was particularly demanding in bed but he was starting to think that he might be. Feeling Sin next to him, seeing him walking around naked at night, Sin's hands passing over skin that had not been bare to the touch for years... It was making it impossible for him to not think about going further, about actual intercourse and what it would feel like to be that intimate with Sin.

He'd thought about it for days before he finally decided the best course of action would be to bring it up somehow and see where it went. He didn't want to throw the idea at Sin too suddenly, though, and it occurred to him that they hadn't had the chance to spend a lot of time in Monterrey itself so decided that they should go around the city sometime. Sin spent a lot of his time working and although Boyd had been around Monterrey, it was usually mixed with work as well since he had to be constantly aware of any potential places to look into. He thought a day of fresh air for them both would be a nice change, perhaps also relax them enough that Sin would be more amenable to the suggestion. Beyond that, he couldn't help remembering how, aside from the bittersweet aspect, it had been sort of fun to go around the city with Ryan back home. He'd never really had the chance to do anything like that with Sin when they didn't have ulterior motives, and he doubted Sin had ever bothered to just have fun for the sake of having fun.

All of these reasons came together the morning of Sin's next day off; as Boyd finished getting dressed in the bathroom and stepped out into the apartment, his gaze strayed to Sin thoughtfully. He watched him for a bit then moved to drop his clothes by the bed and walk over to him. "I was thinking that you probably haven't had a chance to see much of Monterrey yet," Boyd said casually, if a little suddenly. "There's this really good restaurant I found that's also pretty cheap. What do you think about going there rather than eating in today?"

Sin was in the process of pulling a sleeveless t-shirt on but when his head popped out of it, he stared at Boyd through his unruly mess of hair and raised an eyebrow. "Why?" His tone didn't imply that he was against the idea, it seemed more that the idea of going out to eat with Boyd or going out anywhere with Boyd had simply never occurred to him.

"Because it would be fun," Boyd said, mildly amused. "And we can relax."

Sin made a face at that, not seeming to believe that eating around crowds of people could ever be relaxing, but he didn't say it out loud. "Whatever makes you happy." He bent down and began lacing up a ratty pair of tennis shoes, opting to avoid his boots for a change.

"Oh really." Boyd drew the words out, a small, teasing smirk playing at the edges of his lips. "Does that statement work for everything?"

"Pretty much," Sin responded, still tying his shoes.

That made Boyd pause; he had to stop himself from suggesting things that would distract him from the plan since he really did want to spend a day in Monterrey just walking around with Sin. "Well," he said after a moment, watching Sin's fingers lacing the shoes. "The same goes for you."

Sin snorted softly, finished and stood up straight. "The concept of happiness is so foreign to me that I wouldn't even be able to identify it if I felt it."

"Well, maybe you'll find you like walking around town for no reason than to sight-see, or eating out at cheap restaurants," Boyd suggested, walking over to the table so he could grab his wallet and sketchpad. "Are you ready?" he asked, turning just enough to look at him as he slid the drawing pad into his bag and put it on.

"As ready as I'll ever be to eat around crowds of sweaty civvies," Sin replied and walked over to the door.

"Well," Boyd said with a truly amused chuckle as he trailed behind him, "at least we know your expectations won't be too high, so I can't imagine you'll be disappointed."

They walked out into the hallway and the instant wave of sweltering heat and humidity was a reminder that although their air conditioner was pitiful, it was still a huge relief. When they'd first arrived in Monterrey it'd already been miserably hot but over the past month and a half it'd only gotten worse.

"So where's this place we're going to?" Sin asked as they went down the stairs.

"'bout a fifteen minute walk to the east," Boyd said idly, pausing to smile and nod at a woman who was sitting in the lobby of their apartment building. She waved at him, seemingly recognizing him, and Boyd turned back to Sin with a casual rolling shrug. The second they were out of their studio he had automatically reverted to the Kadin Reed mannerisms; it showed most in his walk and the way he spoke. "You'll like it; the walk's enough of a reason to go on its own."

"Why will I like it?" Sin asked somewhat doubtfully, putting his hands in his pockets and adopting a more slouching saunter than his usual ramrod straight, soldier-like stride.

"It's beautiful," Boyd said simply, and led them out into the brunt of the weather. The sun could almost be seen shining through breaks in the clouds; it was bright enough that their bare skin actually felt warm to the touch. The heat seemed to seep straight through their clothing and muscles to rest in their bones, and even the bits of bare skin was not enough to cool them down. Boyd did not seem to notice entirely; he wove his way through the crowds quickly, trusting Sin to follow behind him. Although it was incredibly hot there were still quite a few people out; market places were set up beneath little tented carts around them and more than one person approached the two trying to sell something.

One particularly forward man stepped right into Boyd's path, holding his hands out hopefully and staring beseechingly. He slurred something in half-English, half-Spanish that was too difficult to decipher, but Boyd seemed to understand what he meant. Boyd just made a soft noise with his tongue while he waved his pointer finger at him once, in the same manner a person from America shook a finger and said 'tsk, tsk.' The man looked at him reproachfully, lifting his arm and patting his elbow with a glare before he disappeared. Boyd smirked to himself, seeming amused.

Sin raised an eyebrow at Boyd. "What was that all about?"

Looking over, Boyd just grinned at first. He was in a great mood, so everything seemed cast in a better light to him. Something that sometimes annoyed him just amused him now and even with the heat and his recent frustration, even with the tendency to want to watch the sweat trickling down Sin's skin as it disappeared beneath his clothing, he still felt a lot more relaxed now that they were in the open air. Their studio was nice but sometimes it just made him feel confined. "He wanted money, or me to buy something," He explained. "I said no, he called me a tightwad. I saw women doing that at the market once-- it was crazy how they got the guys to back off when all the shit I'd tried on my own just made them bother me more. This is much easier, but I had to ask what that elbow gesture meant." He made a noise of amusement to himself. "I thought they were telling me to fuck off, first time I saw it. Which I guess they still are, sort of."

"Why doesn't anyone ever try to approach me like that?" Sin asked as he glanced at the people at their stands. He seemed resentful that he was missing out on the opportunity to use these gestures as well.

Boyd chuckled. "Maybe you're too intimidating."

Sin shrugged. "Maybe."

They walked another two blocks in silence until they made it to one of the areas that had been affected by the bombs. The area was wide and open, but reconstruction had started on the edges where buildings were being rebuilt. In the meantime, the area was being used like a small courtyard; a temporary fountain was placed to the side with benches surrounding it for people to rest as they walked through the huge city. Boyd slowed and turned toward Sin with a smile, walking backwards. "Reason this walk's amazing, número uno," he drawled with a decent Spanish accent, pointing over Sin's shoulder, "Cerro de las Mitras, or Mountain of the Mitres, supposedly named 'cause it looks like the profile of several bishops wearing their headdresses."

Sin looked in the direction of the huge, towering mountain and took in the way its peak disappeared into the hazy clouds. "Who the hell decided that?" He asked skeptically.

"Probably someone who could see it before the bombs," Boyd said offhandedly. "You can see the mountain pretty much anywhere in the city, but I think it's nicest here." The buildings on the side of the courtyard facing the mountain were being reconstructed. The architecture was a little more modern but very intricate, with swooping lines that seemed to mimic the mountain that could be seen behind them. The colors were bright blues and yellows, quite the difference from the deep brown of Cerro de las Mitras, but it made a nice contrast.

"I just like the way it looks from here," Boyd said, staring at the view. "The clouds cut off a lot of the mountain, though. It makes me wonder what it looked like before, if you could ever see the whole thing."

Sin studied his partner for a moment before glancing over at the mountain again. He vaguely remembered seeing it as a child through the window of his father's loft. "I remember seeing it before the fallout from the bombs," He commented.

"Really?" Boyd looked over at Sin in interest. "What was it like?"

Sin blinked at Boyd and rubbed the back of his head before peering up at the mountain again. "Uh..." To be honest he hadn't paid much attention to its beauty at the time. He'd been too preoccupied with learning and training, with building his endurance and keeping up with his father. "My father and I hiked up it when I was young. It was difficult but the view was impressive and the sky seemed massive, endless." Sin shook his head for a moment, almost feeling guilty for not remembering more details about the scenery, about the way the mountain looked. "I just remember the air being really clean and the sunset being amazing."

"I wish I could have seen that; I love sunsets," he said after a moment, slipping his hands into his pockets absently. "I only remember some of them... I was born in the first wave but the sky wasn't really affected until the second. And at that point..." He shrugged. "I was young. It's probably a miracle I remember them at all. But I do remember loving them."

"You can still see them sometimes, depending on where you are I guess. In places where the clouds are thinner, where it's not as smoggy." Sin bumped Boyd casually with his shoulder. "You'll see it again."

"Maybe," Boyd said lightly as he looked away, "but I doubt it. One more war like we had before and we'll lose even the hint of sun we have now." Shrugging, he turned toward the southeast thoughtfully. "But I guess there's no reason to worry about it. I don't have control over the inevitability of human nature."

"Janus worries about it a lot," Sin said mildly as they began walking again. "I think that's the point of them."

Boyd looked at him sidelong. "What do you think about it all?"

"I don't. It's not my job."

Raising an eyebrow, Boyd strode along at Sin's side. "I wasn't asking you for the answer you'd put on a résumé," he said mildly. "I meant you as you."

Sin made a face at Boyd and shrugged. "I don't know. What specifically do you want my opinion on? The different sides? The environment?"

Shrugging languidly, Boyd led them down a side street as a shortcut. "Any of it, though mostly I meant the environment."

Sin was silent for a moment, his eyes roaming over the people that milled in the streets. "We're lucky we got off as easy as we did. If it weren't for the fact that many of the bombs were not nuclear, we would probably be faced with a permanent winter now. I think humans are selfish for destroying the planet for their own petty desires."

Inclining his head in a nod, Boyd said, "I would have to agree with that."

"I don't think too hard about the other things," Sin said, glancing down at Boyd briefly before returning to his survey of the surrounding people. "If I did, it would make my job harder than it already is at times. I wasn't trained to think or to form opinions although my father always insisted that everyone should live by a moral code."

"Hmm, from what I've heard of him, I wonder what his moral code was." The comment was relatively neutral; it didn't sound as though Boyd was insulting Emilio, but at the same time he did not seem to be condoning him either.

There was another long silence as they walked and for a moment it seemed that Sin would not respond. But then he ran a hand through his hair and seemed to fight back whatever was stopping him from commenting, seemed to ignore the remaining shreds of loyalty that prevented him from talking about his father. "He believed that a man without morals is a dangerous man and a man that should be controlled. Even if we are killers, we are regimented killers and do not take lives of the weak or for sport." Sin cleared his throat and wiped sweat from his forehead. "Despite that, I was not trained to question my orders. Maybe because he had his own political opinions and thought that our orders were for the best. Perhaps he assumed I would think the same and in that way, I would not be going against that moral code."

Boyd thought about that; it explained why he protected innocents and probably any number of other little oddities about Sin. He looked around them; no one was anywhere near enough to overhear their quiet conversation, or he never would have asked such serious questions. Even so, he was aware of the fact that he was technically breaching protocol by doing anything that in any way went against his cover. And Boyd was always the one who was so strict about following the rules, about doing things right. But what was perhaps more surprising than that was that Boyd realized... he didn't care. At that moment, walking through the hot Monterrey day with Sin at his side talking about matters he probably never discussed with anyone else... Boyd just could not find it in himself to feel properly chagrined for not going completely by the book.

He sighed softly, wondering what that meant, if it was a good or bad thing, if he was letting the Mexican lifestyle and vacation-like relaxation get to him more than he'd expected. Boyd concentrated on watching the area ahead of them for the next cross-street, where it may be too busy for them to speak seriously. "I think," he said carefully after a moment, "that for some it is a question of loyalty rather than morality."

Pausing, he looked over at Sin; it was a measure of how close he felt to him that he didn't censor what he wanted to say. "For instance... If I am honest, it is not that I feel any particular moral righteousness about what our... employers represent, or even that I think they are doing the right thing, we are doing the right thing. But they represent to me those I feel loyalty toward." Boyd looked ahead again almost pensively. "My mother, as an example, is an... incredibly cold person who has given me no reason to love her, yet I still feel some sense of loyalty to her. I would unquestioningly protect her if she were in danger. Do I believe in what she does? No. Yet she is with our employers, and so I will follow her. In so doing, I could do some incredibly immoral things."

He searched the walls they were passing as if he expected to find an answer in them. "What is right, what is wrong, these are such subjective concepts. To me what may be acceptable could be absolutely offensive to you. Where does morality lie in that, how can there be a moral code for someone who will do such things one area, but due to his own beliefs, he will not do another? On the other hand, going only according to loyalty works morally only so much as the person who is followed is actually good, is not cruel." He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I'm rambling, but I just... wonder, sometimes, which is stronger: morality or loyalty. Which is better. I have very little morality, but I do have loyalty to offer. In reality, it is all I have. In that sense," he looked over at Sin wryly, "to your father, I think I would need to be controlled more than you would."

Sin snorted softly. "Unless you would murder innocent women and children because your mother told you to, I doubt my father would think of you as someone who would need to be controlled. He didn't think I needed that kind of control either at first."

Boyd turned his attention to the ground and was silent at first. Inwardly, he thought he probably would have. Not before Lou died, and not now, because his loyalty was split among others but in that period of darkness when his mother was the only person he had... He probably would have done anything she told him to. Boyd didn't know what he seemed like to others; perhaps he did seem moral after all. But he felt that must be simply because he generally followed the rules, which were most often infused with some sense of morality, and he'd never felt the need to be cruel to Sin, to hold power over him simply because of who and what he was. But to Boyd, that was not a question of morality, it was one of common sense and intelligence. He understood consequences well enough to know that fucking with someone who could easily fuck him up was not a particularly smart thing to do. He'd never felt the urge to hurt Sin because there had never been a reason; it wasn't that it was beneath his moral code but because it would have just been stupid. And basing the concept of Sin being subhuman on the fact that he had mental instability and high physical prowess had equally seemed illogical to him. Even if by now the idea disgusted him of anyone hurting Sin just to feel powerful, he thought it was more because he knew Sin, he liked him, and thus he also had loyalty to him. In reality, there were far more things Boyd would do rather than would not, and at the moment he wasn't even sure what would fall in the 'would not' list. If someone he was completely loyal to told him to do something... He would do it. Simple as that.

But they were having a nice day, and Boyd just... didn't want to get into another argument. Part of him very much wanted to bear that ugly bit of his soul to Sin, to let him judge what sort of person Boyd was because Boyd had no way of judging himself. But he resisted the temptation to say anything that would condemn himself and just smiled distractedly, pulling some hair behind his ear. "We're about five minutes away," he said randomly as they entered the cross-street and he led them to the left. "You should start thinking about what you feel like eating. They have a nice menu selection."

Sin gave him a significant look, not missing the complete change of topic but he didn't call Boyd on it. In truth, he was somewhat relieved that he didn't have to talk about his father anymore. Boyd hadn't exactly forced the comments out of him but for some reason he always found himself rather loose tongued around his partner. Ever since the silence regarding Emilio had been broken, he couldn't seem to stop talking about him; it typically led to him slipping, saying idiotic things that he could not-- would not explain. "I don't know what they have."

"It's a pretty diverse place," Boyd said with a shrug. "Just think in general about what you're hungry for. There are selections from several countries so chances are you'll get something close. "

Sin shrugged in response, not bothering to comment that he very rarely ate real food so he didn't really have much of a preference about it.

The walk slowly passed in silence; neither of them really had anything to say. Boyd didn't want to devote any more time to the idea of morality against loyalty and what that said about him. Luckily, if he was an expert at anything, it was his ability to just not think about things that bothered him. By concentrating on the sights around them and making sure he led Sin in the right direction, he was able to shed any pensiveness that may have lingered. "I forgot to mention earlier," He said suddenly after a while, "but there are some very interesting shops along this route. There were also two more places that're nice to stop and rest at, and the view of Cerro de la Silla was beautiful from that courtyard before, but I didn't think to point it out to you." Boyd looked over and smiled slightly. "Those were other reasons this is a nice walk. But most of all, I thought you'd appreciate this..." He led them around a corner and gestured to their right, where a small shop rested between several larger buildings. "The best chocolate in the city, I've been told," he explained, staring at the store thoughtfully as they approached. "The owners are also really nice. They only speak Spanish so there's a lot I don't get but they're always understanding."

Sin's eyebrows shot up and he entered the store, closely examining all of the displays and unfamiliar brands of candy. He'd never heard of Duvalin, Classica or Carlos V but he was about to become very closely acquainted with them. He grabbed a package of chocolate coated wafer rolls and tore it open, shoving a couple in his mouth as he moved to the counter to stare at the homemade chocolate that was encased in glass.

An old woman appeared from a back room, her mostly-grey hair pulled back in a ponytail. Dark brown eyes zeroed in on Sin, and though she frowned she did not seem particularly angry. Sin did not seem to notice anything around him, not even when she said something rapidly that sounded a little exasperated, a little amused.

Boyd was moments behind Sin, and did not know if he was surprised to see him immediately eating things without paying first. Although it was amusing to see Sin act like a kid at any point, he would have hoped to have the situation a little more under control when they entered. "Ah, Amalia," Boyd greeted her immediately, slipping into her view before she could say anything more to Sin. It had taken him a bit but he'd eventually managed to at least figure out her name.

"Uh, me llamo Kadin Reed. Remember?" He pointed to himself, and she smiled suddenly, saying something to him that he could not possibly understand. So he just nodded and said yes in Spanish a few times, then pointed to Sin. "Ah... Ir.. Ir a la... pay...?" His eyebrows furrowed down and he pointed between himself and Sin a few times. "Ah, I will... pay.... I'm sorry, I don't know how to say this."

She waved her hand dismissively at Boyd and said something else before moving over by Sin. Stopping on the other side of the counter from Sin, she looked down at the glass and asked him in Spanish, "Do you want to try samples?"

Sin nodded silently, never taking his eyes off the candy even as he continued to munch on the wafers. The amusement in Amalia's eyes seemed to intensify and she took out a couple different kinds of chocolate, telling him in Spanish that one had strawberry jelly in the middle while the other was actually a covered butter cookie.

Sin ate both quickly and seemed to be waiting for more when she made a tsk sound and closed the case. "Chocolate is expensive, you know?" She said and although Boyd couldn't understand her words, the tone gave it away.

"Buy me candy," Sin ordered Boyd.

Boyd rolled his eyes dramatically and Amalia laughed softly. "I'm not made of money, you know," he informed Sin with mock-haughtiness. "Some day I expect to get something out of this."

"You get plenty out of this," Sin retorted and pointed to the case, ordering Amalia to give him two of everything. In addition to that he grabbed several other prepackaged treats and dumped them on the counter. It came to an unsurprising two thousand pesos, the equivalent to two hundred American dollars and even that was actually cheaper than it would have been in the states. In a world still recovering from a nearly apocalyptic war, luxuries like chocolate, candy and other junk food were shockingly expensive since they weren't exactly a necessity.

Although Boyd was the one who handed over the money, the ironic part was it really wasn't his. He was paying with money from Jason Alvarez' account, so technically Sin was paying for his own food. He didn't say anything about it, though; he simply grabbed the bag from the counter before Sin could eat anything else, and he smiled at Amalia. "Gracias," he thanked her and looked over at Sin. "Ready?"

Sin nodded and automatically reached for the bag as they left the shop. "I don't understand how you can not like candy."

Holding the bag firmly on the side of his body away from Sin, Boyd raised an eyebrow at him. "No, you're eating at the restaurant first. And I never said I don't like it." He shrugged and led them down the street the same direction they were going before they were distracted by the store. "It's just... not my favorite. Too sweet."

"That must be why you like kissing me, huh?" Sin asked as they began walking again.

"What?" Boyd asked, startled into laughter. "What do you mean?"

"I'm saying you don't have to worry about tasting anything sweet on me," He replied.

"Ahh, I see," Boyd said, nodding to himself before he smirked teasingly. "That would work if you weren't constantly inhaling candy and chocolate. You practically have sugar for blood."

Sin looked pleased at the idea and tried to swipe the bag again as Boyd led him to a decent sized restaurant called Isabel's. It had a small indoor dining room although it seemed that the majority of the tables were outside. Sin didn't seem very impressed by the fact that the indoor dining room was entirely full.

Seeing Sin's look, Boyd shook his head to himself in mild amusement. Making sure the bag was held on the other side of his body, he slipped into the restaurant. "Grab us a table, I'll get the menus," he ordered idly over his shoulder just before disappearing into the small crowd of people milling around the counter inside.

Sin made a disgruntled sound and picked his way through the tables that were crowded together, choosing to sit at one of the most secluded ones on the far side of the restaurant. Several people looked at him as he went but they weren't anything more than sidelong glances, a far cry from the suspicious looks he generally garnered back in the states. The restaurant's occupants were very diverse and it seemed as though it attracted people from all over the city. There were people of various ethnic backgrounds and nationalities, both young and old. There were artist types sketching or scribbling in notepads as well as large groups of college-aged kids who seemed to be just having a good time. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant atmosphere although Sin could have dealt without the raucous laughter from some of the tables.

He sprawled in one of the stiff backed wire frame chairs and slumped down, tying a black rag around his head. He ignored the flirtatious smile one of the waitresses sent his way and waited for Boyd to return.

It didn't take long for Boyd to reappear with two laminated sheets of paper in his hands. "Hey, good choice," he said happily as he dropped into the chair opposite Sin. Setting the candy and his messenger bag beneath his seat, he slid one of the menus across the table to Sin. "So, Isabel's has specials for each day and today's," he leaned across the table to point at a list of days and specials at the bottom of the menu, "is my favorite here." He smiled, his finger right next to 'Chicken Kiev with rice.' "If you have any questions just ask me or the waitress."

Sin peered down at the menu blankly for several moments and when the waitress came around, he wound up being very unadventurous by ordering a beer and a double bacon cheeseburger with cheese chili fries. It was unsurprising considering the fact that he typically went for the unhealthiest food available on a regular basis. "I wonder what Zachary would think if he saw me now," He muttered when the waitress smiled and set the large mug of beer down in front of him.

Quirking an eyebrow at the beer, Boyd leaned languidly back in his chair. He took a sip of his water while he considered the alcohol then glanced idly around. No one was near enough to overhear a soft-spoken conversation when there was so much background noise with crowds on the nearby street and the overwhelming laughter from some of the tables. Returning his dark blue gaze to Sin, he asked casually, "You drink now?" He was not quite sure he liked the idea; from his experience, Sin was not the most amenable or happiest of people when drunk.

"Occasionally," Sin replied calmly, taking several gulps of his beer before setting it down and pulling his crumpled pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "It's hard not to, considering where I work and what people expect of me."

"Hmm." Boyd considered that and inclined his head with a shrug. Well, he was blending in, and so far Boyd had not noticed anything disastrous with his personality in the studio so he must be fine. "Makes sense. Do you like it?"

Sin gave a one shouldered shrug and lit his cigarette, inhaling deeply before responding. "I like whiskey sours and margaritas," He said casually.

"'Occasionally,'" Boyd mildly repeated Sin's earlier words. If Sin only drank occasionally, how would he have known that? Boyd had assumed he meant beer and not other concoctions. "You've experimented more than I expected."

"I drink at work sometimes," Sin admitted, dark eyebrows rising slightly. "Is it surprising?"

Boyd almost brushed it off, but turned his full attention on Sin, considering him. His expression was thoughtful, and he lifted one shoulder in a rolling shrug. "A little, actually, yes," he said calmly, no reproach evident in his body language at all.

Sin smirked and took another healthy gulp, fake brown eyes never leaving Boyd's face. When he set the mug down again he shook his head. "Why?"

"Well," Boyd drawled with an amused, slightly challenging eyebrow raised, "the point of alcohol is to loosen the inhibitions. Considering the fact that you were already worried about being around so many... people for your job, one would think you would want to be entirely in control." He set his glass of water on the table and pushed some hair out of his eyes. "On the other hand, you're certainly blending in."

"I'm always in control," Sin replied blandly, pausing only when the waitress returned and set their food down in front of them. "I'm not drinking entire bottles of vodka like I did in France."

Boyd paused, looking down at his food. Part of him had wanted to bring that up, but he didn't think the topic would have been received well. "You're lucky you didn't poison yourself at that time," he said with casual neutrality in case Sin did not want to discuss it.

"And you're lucky my reaction was as tame as it was." Sin picked up his burger and started to take a bite before saying, "I've been warned for a long time that alcohol or drugs could worsen my... condition."

Boyd was quiet a moment, pushing the chicken idly across the plate. He looked up to search Sin's expression, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "If that's so, then why--?" He sounded a little confused.

"You pissed me off," Sin said blandly around a mouthful of burger.

"Because I was letting him be an ass to you?" Boyd asked mildly, cutting the chicken with his knife and fork.

"No," Sin retorted with an air of irritation that quickly disappeared as he licked chili sauce off his fingers. "Because you were condescending and obnoxious. And when you weren't acting like that you were sucking up to the faggot and it made me sick. I didn't know how to properly handle what I was feeling so I drank. Not the best of ideas."

"I was just doing my job," Boyd said in his defense. "But I suppose we've been over this." He took a bite of the Chicken Kiev, trying to keep the butter from dripping everywhere and he sighed. "I didn't realize it would upset you, though. Had I known, I may have gone about it differently."

Sin rolled his eyes but refrained from commenting, most likely because it would have been something disparaging or skeptical. Although he no longer held a grudge against Boyd for the incident it was clear that he wasn't entirely over it. He ate silently for a moment, brown eyes trained on Boyd and smirked. "You have butter on your face," He commented and reached one hand out, wiping it from Boyd's chin with his thumb.

Giving Sin a mildly startled look, Boyd smiled after a moment. "Thanks. I'll probably have it everywhere by the time I'm done," he said wryly.

Sin licked the butter off his thumb, smirk widening. "We can get you a bib."

"Why get a bib when I can have you lick it all off me anyway?" Boyd asked, a slow grin pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Because that would lead to things inappropriate for your dining place of choice," Sin drawled, although his eyes narrowed slightly and the corner of his mouth turned up in an almost flirtatious smile.

Boyd leaned against the table casually and took a slow sip of his water. He did not look away from Sin, his eyes a shade darker even behind the contacts. "Then maybe we should take the butter home with us," he suggested, dipping his finger in the butter pooling on his plate and licking it off slowly.

Sin's mouth twitched and he cocked an eyebrow at Boyd although he couldn't take his eyes off the way Boyd's finger slowly went in and out of those soft, pink lips. "Slut."

"Mm," Boyd murmured with the smirk growing. He watched Sin's expression, the way he couldn't look away, and the mischievous side of him made it impossible to resist toying with him more. Letting his finger slide out of his mouth, he looked only briefly down at his plate so he could cut the chicken into smaller pieces. Returning his gaze to Sin, he spoke soft enough that no one could overhear. "Speaking of," and he said perfectly casually, "what do you think about fucking me tonight?"

Sin's face went from entranced to surprised in an instant and he blinked at Boyd blankly for a moment. His eyebrows drew together and he dropped his eyes to stare at the cigarette that had been burning in the ashtray since the waitress had brought their food. "What do you mean?"

"I mean intercourse," Boyd said with a quirked eyebrow. He took another bite and watched Sin closely. "As in, your dick in my ass."

Sin looked up at Boyd again, a slight frown on his face. "Why would you want to do that?" He asked in a tone that implied he really had no idea why such an activity would be wanted.

"Because it can be amazing?" Boyd asked mildly.

Sin gave him a skeptical look and shoved several chili cheese soaked fries into his mouth. He busied himself with chewing for a moment and it seemed that he wanted to completely ignore the conversation. However after he swallowed he looked at Boyd again, a frown on his face. "Did you do that with Thierry?"

Boyd blinked, his gaze turning intense. He set his silverware down for a moment and leaned forward so he could speak even quieter. "Yes," he admitted, "but for quite a bit of it I was imagining you," he let his gaze trail briefly down what he could see of Sin's body and back up, "and what you would feel like instead."

An expression that was half surprised, half pleased crossed Sin's face and his eyes locked with Boyd's. "Oh really? And why's that?"

"I was rather... preoccupied by you," Boyd said. "I thought you were more attractive on many levels, I wanted to be spending that time with you anyway, and," he raised one shoulder in a slow shrug, "I thought you would be more my style."

"And what's your style?" Sin asked, voice low and eyes half closed as he stared at his partner, food almost forgotten.

"A little rough... interesting, sweaty. The kind I can't stay quiet for," Boyd said softly. "Hot."

Sin licked his lips absently, one hand tightening on the edge of the table. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, dragging his eyes away and staring down at his food blankly for awhile. "And you think I'd... be better than Thierry?"

"I think there's a very good chance." Boyd slowly sat back in his chair, idly playing with his glass of water.

Sin was silent for a moment and he seemed to be struggling between being intrigued and uncomfortable. "Well, I don't know what to do," He muttered. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I will tell you what to do," Boyd assured him, "And if anything hurts. But... I don't want to push you if you don't want to." As much as he wanted to do more with Sin, he wasn't about to compromise the familiarity they'd built up so far just because he was feeling horny.

Sin frowned and finally picked up his half eaten burger again. "It's not that I'm against the idea. I just never really equated that act with... anything positive," He admitted in a matter of fact tone.

Boyd leaned against the table again, but this time it was with a more sincere expression. He thought about Ryan's belief that Sin was sexually abused, and Sin's comment that Boyd didn't know the meaning of rape. That pretty much confirmed it right there, and it angered him as much as it saddened him. The idea that Sin could only see negative in something Boyd had almost always had very positive experiences with... That someone would hurt Sin that badly, would use his body against him... It was just one more example of how Sin had been dehumanized in his life and even if Boyd had no idea what the circumstances were surrounding the rape, he still wanted to give Sin another perspective. He wanted to show him that this was one more thing that could feel great, that didn't have to hurt him. That not everything in life was related to pain.

"Then maybe it's time you did," Boyd said finally.

Sin studied him for a moment before grabbing his mug and downing the rest of the beer. He seemed to be thinking about the subject in depth and was surprisingly unsure of what he actually wanted to do. On one hand the idea of anal sex had never occurred to him as an act that he would perform with Boyd. Although it seemed naive, he'd never actually imagined Boyd wanting to do that probably because the only time he'd experienced or seen that particular sexual act about to be performed, it was in violent context.

Sin set his beer down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable about his own lack of experience. But obviously his previous thoughts about the subject were wrong if Boyd desired such a thing from him-- if he'd done it before with Thierry and probably with Louis as well. The idea bothered him but at the same time, the possibility that he would outperform Thierry was a definite bonus in the whole idea. He supposed that in that way he was a typical man and his competitive behavior with Thierry apparently knew no bounds. "I guess we can try," He said finally, picking up his burger again. "No promises that I'll be any good at it though."

"I'll be the judge of that," Boyd said and returned to eating his chicken.

Sin looked doubtful but said nothing. In relative silence, they finished their meals. Sin said nothing more about Boyd's proposition, and Boyd did not bring it up again. The sun strengthened slowly behind the clouds until even sitting still under it was getting uncomfortable. Boyd pointed out idly that Sin should be drinking water rather than beer, as that would only dehydrate him further, but Sin only shrugged, claiming he'd be fine and that he'd get something else to drink later. Boyd raised an eyebrow but did not seem particularly reproachful.

After dinner, Boyd suggested that they wander around the city for awhile. He pointed out a few shops and restaurants that he knew, though at this point his knowledge was few and far between. About twenty minutes passed before they noticed a movie theater. The film industry had changed dramatically since the bombs. Hollywood was obliterated, crippling a large portion of the big-name movies made worldwide. Other countries did not fare much better; major cities were destroyed in England, France, Spain, Japan... Many of the major actors worldwide at the time were killed, as a lot of them were in highly populated cities across the world.

Bollywood remained, though the actors were not paid nearly as much since the economies worldwide had fallen. Even so, Bollywood continued to output the most films per year, and the people in that industry were certainly well-paid for the times. The Oceanic Republic had the next largest film industry, though they only averaged a few per year at low cost. The third main source of new movies after the bombs came from very low budget indie films, primarily documentaries watching what changed after the wars, and where things were going from there. Even if making new films was not a priority for many countries, there were still many places to watch reruns of old movies from before the war.

Boyd slowed as they approached the theater and gave it a sidelong, wry look he'd seen Kadin Reed exhibit a few times. There were three films showing, all reruns of old American movies that day though a sign in front said in several languages that the theater cycled through the countries it highlighted each month. At the moment, they were showing The Godfather, Pulp Fiction, and Sleepless in Seattle. "Want to watch a movie?" Boyd asked Sin idly, watching a few people disappear into the theater.

Sin stared at the theater and then at Boyd. "What for?"

"For a concept little-known to you," Boyd said wryly with his eyebrows raised, "called 'fun.'"

"What's fun about watching people pretend to be other people? I could just stare at you and it would be the same thing," Sin replied, looking at the movie titles idly.

Boyd laughed, highly amused by the idea. "No, it's really different actually," he insisted. "The movies made before the war ranged a lot in their theatrical value. Some had an amazing amount of special effects. Not the three playing right now that I know of, but," he smirked, "it's not like I've seen Sleepless in Seattle. I think you'd like Pulp Fiction, though." Crossing his arms at his chest, Boyd raised an eyebrow. "Wanna try? Even if you find you don't like movies it's not like you lose anything but a bit of time and money."

"Hard earned money," Sin corrected. "Hard earned money that you bleed out of me slowly. We can do it though, if you think it will be entertaining for some reason."

"Oh, you have plenty of it," Boyd smirked. "I bet you have plenty in your other account."

Sin shrugged. "I have no idea how much money is in that account. For all I know they don't pay me anymore since it's pointless anyway. It's not like I've ever used any of it."

"I'm sure they do." Boyd quirked an eyebrow. "We should look – you probably have quite a bit saved up if nothing else. How did you pay for anything before I came along?"

"I didn't have to pay for anything," Sin replied calmly. "I didn't have my own quarters until recently. I was typically incarcerated."

"Hmm." Boyd watched him a moment then turned toward the theater. "Well, you aren't now so you should enjoy your time. I've decided we're going to watch Pulp Fiction." Looking over his shoulder, he said archly, "Today, I will help you learn how to spend money. You'll need to work on that skill with all the thousands you probably have to your name."

Sin shrugged and trailed behind him. "This is an imperative thing to learn, is it?"

"Definitely," Boyd deadpanned.

That earned him a skeptical snort but Sin declined to comment further as they approached the ticket booth. The girl sitting behind the glass looked very bored and very unimpressed with life in general. She seemed to notice someone approaching and her eyes turned on them in an almost exasperated way, as if the appearance of customers was somehow making her life more unbearable, but when she got a full view of them she sat up straight. Dark brown eyes surveyed both men thoroughly and a smile pulled across her formerly irritated looking features. "Hi! Welcome to the only theater in Monterrey that isn't a complete piece of shit even if our movie selection is limited to movies that are four decades old. What will be your selection for this afternoon?"

Sin stared at her silently and said nothing.

Boyd almost laughed at that. "Two for Pulp Fiction," he said, sliding the money across the counter.

"Color me unsurprised," She said as she typed some things into the computer.

"Are we really that predictable?" Boyd asked.

"Well despite the fact that Godfather was once a classic, it doesn't seem to be as popular anymore and you don't seem the type to be going to a chick flick unless one of you is either gay or a bleeding heart pansy, so I'd have to say yes. In that way you are." She slid the tickets under the counter and shrugged, smirking. "And your friend here seems like he'd enjoy a Tarantino film."

"I'm hoping he will or else we just wasted a lot of money," Boyd said.

The girl looked at Sin as if waiting for a response and when he declined to give one, she made a face at him. "What are you mute or something?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No. I just have no desire to converse with you."

The clerk stared at him in surprise for a moment before shaking her head. "Well okay then. You have a nice day too."

Sin shrugged, turned around and headed into the building.

Sometimes Boyd could almost forget how Sin tended to be around other people. He glanced at him then turned back to the girl. "Thanks for the tickets," he said.

She gave Boyd a look and remained silent, but he didn't really care to dwell on it. He turned and followed Sin, catching up to him as they passed through the lobby on the way to Theater 3. Sin slid his hands into his pockets and surveyed the lobby idly. "I cannot decide if different people keep watching us because we're strange looking or if it's something less innocent," He commented.

"You noticed too?" Boyd asked calmly, looking at Sin sidelong.

Sin waited until they passed a small group of people before he spoke again. "I only notice it when there are large crowds around me so I figured it was some civvie who thought I looked strange or recognized me from the US media," He said quietly. "Now I'm not so sure since it happens more frequently than I'd like."

"It could be anything," Boyd said with a languid roll of his shoulders. They entered Theater 3 and Boyd casually looked around. It was clearly an old movie theater; the seats were old and greatly in need of refurbishing, but they looked comfortable enough. It was stadium seating, which meant at least that everyone would be afforded a good view of the movie. There were probably 150 chairs, with the projector in a small enclosed room situated a floor above the seats.

"But if they're watching each of us," Boyd continued so softly that only Sin would be able to hear, "it's probably not Janus. They shouldn't even be in Monterrey yet and even if for some reason they were and, even more strangely, knew Reed was here, they'd have no idea who Jason is yet. My guess is it's something unrelated but just in case..." Glancing around, he stopped in front of the middle seat in the row furthest to the back and sat down. "We'll make it a little interesting. If they want to follow us into here they'll have to be damn obvious to watch us from this position. That should make it easier to identify who's following us. I'll watch for any undue attention as much as I can without being obvious; you can just watch the movie."

Sin sat down next to Boyd and made a face. "Yeah, I'm sure I'll be that into it." He crossed his arms over his chest and watched the small amount of people that trickled slowly into the theater. "It's entirely possible that it's a combination of coincidence and paranoia. Whatever the case may be it is very unlikely that it is Janus and that is the only thing that would concern me at the moment. I suppose we will just have to wait and see if it amounts to anything."

White static went across the screen then started to flicker black. The operator was obviously having issues with the tracking, but the movie was nearly starting. Sin slumped down farther in his chair and turned towards the screen. He didn't have high expectations for the movie; he didn't have high expectations for television in general mostly because he'd never had much of a reason to watch it before. He thought of television as a lame and often useless spectacle made to distract people from their pointless existences and he wanted no part of it. The fact that television and the media in general was only a tool for big business to get across their agendas and stances was yet another reason why he felt no burning desire to take part in this aspect of American culture. If he wanted to be spoon fed capitalistic propaganda he could simply listen to one of Connor's diatribes and then at least there would be no pretense of objectivity.

As the movie began, he stared at the screen and found himself mocking every word that came out of the character's mouths at first but for one reason or another, after awhile he couldn't help feeling mildly amused by the characters. Maybe it was the casual way the two hit men conversed about completely inane things before performing a hit that made him smirk and remember his father. Or the fact that many of the things that occurred bordered so far on the ridiculous that he couldn't help the beginnings of a smirk that curved on his lips while drawing constant parallels with the strange things he'd encountered in his own life. How many times had he gotten himself into situations in broad day light that left him splattered in blood, gore and nowhere to go?

The characters in the movie were outrageous but they did what they had to do to ensure their own survival and that detail was actually less outrageous in the current time period than it had been thirty years prior when the movie had actually been created. To his surprise and chagrin he find himself quite engaged in the story, wanting to know what would happen next.

Boyd spent most of the movie looking around for any suspicious activity but nothing caught his eye. Although at one point someone did look back toward them, it was only because they were apparently waiting for a friend to come back with drinks. After a point, Boyd decided that this was occurring the same as it always seemed to before: he felt like he was being watched, then he looked around and saw no reason for this feeling no matter how much time he spent searching. It wasn't that he was ignoring his intuition but he really didn't see anything strange so after a bit he half watched the movie although he remained on alert. It had been years since he'd seen the movie and it was actually sort of entertaining to see it now that it pertained to his life a little more than it had when Lou and he had watched it just for the hell of it. It did make Boyd curious what Sin thought but any time he happened to glance past him, it was hard to read his expression.

He waited until the credits before he turned to Sin curiously. "What did you think?"

Sin shrugged. "It was better than I expected, although I still think the film industry is highly unnecessary and superficial. But I particularly enjoyed Vince. It was an interesting movie, most likely because it did not have the typical Hollywood narrative."

"I like Vince too. Sooo," he drawled, "does that mean I've so far succeeded in entertaining you?"

Sin stood up and stretched, staring down at Boyd through his unruly white and black streaked hair. "I suppose you can say that," He admitted with a smirk. "Maybe I'll even agree to it again some time."

"Mission accomplished, then," Boyd quipped a little smugly.

Sin shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, trailing after Boyd once again as they headed out of the theater.

Monterrey's temperature seemed to increase dramatically even in the few hours they'd spent in the air-conditioned theater. When they stepped outside, the streets were emptier than they had been before, and the people that remained wore loose, light clothing to minimize the heat trapped against their bodies. Many of them looked around beneath hats that shaded their faces and a few carried handheld fans that they used to swish air against their skin. Several people had taken to huddling within the stores dotting the streets, or were stretched beneath awnings as they rested in the shade.

Boyd and Sin were affected as well. Their shirts clung to their skin, their hair stuck to their foreheads and the backs of their necks. It was intense, miserable heat that slithered to the center of a person and seeped into their core, though it didn't stop them from idly meandering through the streets. Boyd brought Sin by a few places with nice views that he had noticed over the months and he stopped at an art store so he could buy another few sketchbooks. There were some general tourist sites as well as stores that he thought Sin would be interested in and he was able to casually show Sin a few of the potential hiding areas for the mission. As they walked through the nearly palpable heat, Boyd could not help thinking that Sin's chocolate was going to be one large melted lump by the time they got back to the studio. Sin did not seem to mind, though. He popped the occasional melting treat into his mouth and looked at everything Boyd pointed out.

Despite the uncomfortable weather, it ended up being a pleasant day. By the time they went home, it was mainly for the relative comfort of their air conditioner and spent the rest of the night talking about nothing of consequence.

----

The Monterrey days passed slowly in a haze of humidity and frequent rays of genuine, golden sunlight. Every passing day grew hotter until each week had an average temperature of around 105 degrees Fahrenheit and they eventually adjusted to the stifling air, knowing that it wouldn't get any worse. Sin continued to work and Boyd continued to wander the streets of the city, getting to know the major scheme as he slowly began to focus on smaller areas of interest. It was hard to think of those days, those weeks, as work; it was hard to remember sometimes that they were on an assignment. The winter seemed so far away and so did their eventual assault on the convention center. For now it seemed like they were on an extended holiday.

Things between the two of them stayed generally the same although neither of them seemed to be in any rush to put a label on what exactly they were to each other. They were partners, something close to friends and something slightly like lovers. The term 'fuckbuddy' was probably the best description although after their previous discussion regarding intercourse, Sin realized they weren't exactly fucking. He hadn't mentioned it again and neither had Boyd but every time they came together sexually, it crossed his mind. He really did not have any idea why he was holding back and he supposed it really had more to do with his own insecurity than his misled assumptions. The fact that he was insecure about anything at all irritated him immensely and he found himself quite annoyed by the complete lack of experience he had in this area. He wondered if he'd have the same anxiety about sleeping with a woman but that only led to more confusing thoughts about his own sexual orientation and after awhile he decided to stop thinking so much about it and leave it alone.

That, however, did not last very long.

It was several days later as he walked home from work that he was once again going over it all in his mind. It was especially prominent because Johnny had taken to asking him incredibly invasive questions about his sex life. Although he'd given Johnny his usual blank, unimpressed and unresponsive stare, he'd been quite put off by the fact that half of the things Johnny had suggested, he'd never done and didn't even know what many of the positions or terms meant. It was probably childish but for some reason it both irritated him and made him incredibly curious about these apparently exciting sexual acts. He felt like an idiotic adolescent who'd just discovered sex but he figured that in a way, that is actually what he was when it came down to it.

He went into the apartment still brooding over the subject and was almost relieved to see that Boyd wasn't there. He didn't want to explain his pissy attitude. He didn't even know how he would without coming off like a complete fool. He wasn't about to start discussing how irrationally insecure the topic made him, especially since it was painfully obvious that Boyd would be comparing his performance to Thierry's. Although Boyd seemed to think he would prefer Sin to the French man, Sin wasn't so sure and the idea of Thierry outperforming him was irritating in more ways than one.

He kicked off his boots and took off his sweaty t-shirt, trudging into the kitchen and eyeing the pots that sat on the stove top and the note that sat on the counter. Boyd was apparently off somewhere investigating something in the dead of the night and would apparently explain further when he returned but it happened to be one of the rare nights that he'd made dinner. He'd left some for Sin which seemed to consist of potatoes, vegetables and some kind of pot roast which smelled incredibly delicious. He was standing at the counter, eating out of the pots and completely ignoring the plates that sat stacked on the counter when the door opened and Boyd finally returned.

Shutting the door behind him, Boyd saw him and looked amused. "Oddly, I knew as I set those plates there that they wouldn't be used," he drawled, dropping his bag near the couch and wandering closer.

Sin looked at him as he spooned some mashed potatoes out of the pot. "Then why bother wasting the effort to do so?" He replied with an eyebrow raised. "This food is very good, by the way. You improve by the day. At least you're making yourself useful."

"I'm a slow learner," Boyd said dryly, stopping at the Sin's side to peer into the pot. "And it's probably the drugs I slipped in it that make you like it."

Sin cut a large chunk of meat off the pot roast and speared it with his knife, eating it off of it. "Well you better hope that drug doesn't have any weird side effects or I may change my mind about something."

"Ooh, intriguing." Boyd looked up at Sin with slightly raised eyebrows. "Tell me more?"

Sin watched him for a moment before shaking his head. "First tell me where you went."

"Ah, right. There is a particularly large building on the other side of Calle Pancho Villa that states it is a restaurant, but despite passing by it several times I have never seen much activity. As I had been there primarily during periods of time when there was a lot of traffic going past I wanted to see what it was like at a quieter time when the hoodlums are out." He smirked briefly before he returned to his explanation. "I think there is something definitely happening, but it will warrant more investigation to know exactly what. I don't believe yet that it is necessarily related to Janus but something about it seems strange to me. I'll check again in a few days."

Sin raised an eyebrow at that and speared another piece of meat. "What did you notice?"

"The activity in and out of the building increased dramatically after midnight, and many of the people frequenting the place were too casual. It leads me to believe they are hiding something. I thought I could smell gun powder when I stood near a vent but I had to move before I could be certain. There seem to be a lot of crates but I can't get close enough for long enough to know anything for certain yet. It might just be a smuggling ring." Boyd shrugged with one shoulder.

"Probably arms dealers and not our concern unless they're dealing arms to Janus, which is possible although unlikely. It is worth looking into though, just to make sure."

"I'll look for any connections." Boyd looked thoughtful and grabbed a fork, spearing his own piece of the roast. "This actually tastes better after it's sat for awhile. When I had some before, it wasn't very good but now I'd agree it tastes pretty good."

"It does. You even got me to eat vegetables." Sin said as he munched on a carrot. He studied Boyd as he ate, eyes slightly narrowed as he leaned against the counter next to him. "What's fisting?" He asked suddenly.

The question startled Boyd into looking at him quickly, trying to decide if it was an honest question. When Sin just watched him, waiting for an answer, he blinked. "Ah... It's... rather like fucking with a fist," he explained frankly. "Putting one's fist in someone's anus or vagina, or their own. It's fairly popular among gay men as I understand it." He paused, giving Sin a strange look. "Why, where did you hear that?"

Sin blinked at him, seeming startled. "That doesn't sound pleasant," He said with a slight frown. He wasn't an expert on all things erotic but some of the things these actively sexual people did together seemed quite odd. "I was having a discussion about sex with Johnny."

"Were you now?" Boyd asked, sounding faintly amused. "I can't say I'm surprised Johnny would veer toward that topic. And despite how I explained that, if it were unpleasant it wouldn't be that popular." Quirking an eyebrow curiously, he watched Sin. "What else did he mention?"

Sin shifted, shoving his hands in the pockets of his low slung jeans, hip bones sticking out of the top in a way that was both alarming because of how slender he was and alluring because of how attractive he was. "Various positions with names I don't remember, rimming, something called...'69' and the use of sex toys. He seemed intent on getting details about our sexual activities since he's determined to say that we're lovers."

Eyes caught by the skin showing above Sin's waistband, Boyd answered a little absently, "I've only done 69 from that list." He looked faintly amused when he dragged his gaze back up to Sin's eyes. "What did you tell him?"

"I didn't particularly involve myself in the conversation. I mostly stared at him and grunted like I usually do. It is the typical way we converse, not that it deters him." Sin gave a lazy, one shouldered shrug. "Not that I'd have much to tell him anyway..."

Boyd started to nod then stopped and gave Sin a slightly insulted look, though he did not seem angry. "Really?" he drawled, quirking an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you implying that I'm not an interesting enough lover to brag about?"

"Well, no," Sin replied with an amused smirk. "But out of the entire catalog of sexual activities, I've done fairly little. It says nothing bad about you, but it is not very impressive for me."

Watching Sin for a moment, Boyd was not quite sure how to respond. "Hmm," he said finally, neutrally. "That's certainly a dilemma." Leaning forward, his mouth pulled to the side in a slight smirk. "Maybe you could just exaggerate. Is he even gay? It's possible he's bluffing and doesn't know what any of it actually is."

"He seems quite knowledgeable in all areas of sex, not that I'd know the difference," Sin said mildly. He stared at Boyd for a moment and then shifted, standing up straight and replacing the lids on the pots. "Maybe we should do some things so that I can actually know what I'm talking about for a change," he said in such an offhanded manner that it took awhile to register what he actually was saying.

Boyd blinked after a moment. "We certainly could," he said finally, slowly. He paused briefly and tried to choose his words carefully before he continued. "Did he... Was there anything you had in mind?"

Sin shrugged again and turned back to Boyd, head tilted slightly to the side as he gazed at his partner through long, black eyelashes. "Nothing in particular..." He drawled softly. "Whatever happens, happens. But I won't stop it from happening."

Boyd watched Sin for a moment before he moved closer and stared up at him thoughtfully. Sin's pale green eyes, the color that was so unique and Boyd found himself mesmerized by, were hidden behind his brown contacts. He lifted one hand to rest against Sin's temple, his thumb on his cheekbone. "It's strange hearing you say that when you look so much like Jason," he said absently, mostly to himself.

Sin leaned forward slightly, lips pulling upwards. "You think I'm being in character?"

"No," Boyd said, drawing his eyebrows down in confusion, "Well. Maybe? I don't know." He shook his head to himself as if to clear his thoughts. He dropped his hand to his side. "I don't think you're lying..."

"Sometimes I wonder if..." Sin trailed off for a moment and shrugged once again. "Things have been so different since we've been here. Sometimes I get caught up and forget who I am. Sometimes I think my personality is getting confused with my Jason persona." He paused and shook his head. "But then there are times like now, when I just begin to wonder whether or not I'm just changing."

"Who you truly are won't change simply because you're pretending to be Jason." Although Boyd had to admit that the idea of Sin changing in this environment made him somehow... pleased. Maybe he just liked the idea that Sin was allowed to be who he naturally wanted to be. "If anything, it would only be because here you're given the chance to act as you like, not restricted by everyone's distorted perceptions of you, or how they treat you in a manner that inevitably leads to you reacting as they expect you to. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy there, but here maybe you can just fulfill your own wishes for yourself." He shrugged with one shoulder. "That is my belief, at any rate."

Sin studied Boyd for a moment before he spoke again. "Do you like me this way?"

Boyd met Sin's gaze and faintly smiled. "I liked you before; that hasn't changed. I do have to admit that it's nice like this, though. I prefer it when we aren't getting into arguments every other day or pure sarcasm is not our main course of conversation. Even back in the states, I could see bits of you like this peeking out and I always wanted to see more. So... Yes. I do."

Sin nodded and seemed pleased although he didn't say anything more on the topic. "I'm going to go wash up."

"I'll be around," Boyd said mildly.

Sin hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on Boyd before he finally disappeared into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and immediately went to the sink, washing his hands and removing his contacts before splashing generous amounts of water on his face. He'd gone into the bathroom with the intention of taking a shower, of washing the sweat and the grime from his body that came with walking through the smoldering streets of Monterrey but when he happened to glance at his reflection in the mirror, he paused.

He rarely looked into the mirror, rarely wanted to see the face that looked so much like his father's and brought up all of the things that he tried so hard to forget, but now that he finally saw himself... he had to admit that there was something different. He couldn't put his finger on it, couldn't quite figure out what it was, but even he, who was always so much in denial about the effect things and people had on him, had to admit that there was something there.

His personality was shifting drastically but now as he studied his features, he saw that he looked less severe than he normally did. The frown that had seemed to always grace his features, that had seemed almost permanent, was gone. His eyes weren't as guarded, his mouth wasn't tightly drawn together or pinched at the sides.

He just looked... different.

Sin shook his head and ran a hand through his black and white hair, a bemused expression on his face. For some reason, it was at that moment that he realized he didn't want to go back to the Agency. He wished that he could stay in Monterrey with Boyd and continue with the relatively simple routines that they'd fallen into, where he could smile and laugh and touch Boyd and not feel like dozens of people were watching him and waiting for him to slip up so that they could take advantage of the slightest weakness that he showed.

Sin turned away from the mirror and stared at the wall blankly for a moment. But that wasn't going to happen so... So he had to take advantage of this time before they went back to the real world.

And with that thought, he opened the door, leaving the bathroom and stalking up to a surprised Boyd to press a long, heated kiss to his mouth.

Making a noise deep in his throat, Boyd let his widened eyes fall half-shut as he responded to the kiss. His hands dropped to Sin's waist, fingers curling around his sides, and he waited a long few moments before he pulled away just enough to pant for air against Sin's lips. "That was fast," he commented, still a little dazed. He had expected Sin to be busy for a good fifteen minutes at least, but all Boyd had managed to do was take out his contacts and walk across the studio before Sin reappeared.

Sin gazed at him, green eyes glowing with an almost feral intensity before he leaned forward again for another long, passionate kiss. He continued to stare at Boyd even as his tongue slid inside the shorter man's mouth, his muscular arms winding around him, hands sliding down to cup his ass as he backed him towards a wall.

Boyd was pleasantly surprised by Sin's intensity; even if he said he wouldn't stop where it went, Boyd had assumed that meant it would be a slower exploration. But in the few minutes Sin had disappeared behind the bathroom door, something seemed to have changed. Sin seemed more intent than before, and while Boyd had no idea what went on in that room to create that shift he couldn't say that he minded. He slid his tongue into Sin's mouth and deepened the kiss, one hand sliding up Sin's back to tangle in his hair and pull him closer. His eyes darkened and he did not break their gaze, could only stare back in helpless desire. Stumbling along with Sin, he felt the wall against his back suddenly but did not really care at the moment.

The moments passed slowly with the only sounds in the room being their lips moving against each other frantically, wetly and soft moans escaping both of their throats as distant music and traffic from outside floated in through the open doors of the balcony, behind the closed curtains. Their kisses grew more intense, hungrier and their hips moved together, erections grinding through the fabric of their pants. Even after weeks of kisses, of touching, of Boyd bringing him to orgasm, Sin's heart still sped up wildly at the contact and he pulled away finally, panting as he gazed at Boyd with lust clouded eyes. "I want to fuck you," He said in a voice that was low, hoarse and very much like Boyd had always imagined it would be when he said those words.

Boyd could not help a throaty moan at that and he had to brace himself against the wall as he struggled to catch his breath. Watching Sin, he nodded, unable to find his voice at first. His entire body felt sensitized to Sin and at that moment he wanted nothing more than to rip all their clothes off so their skin could touch. Hearing Sin say that made it even worse; his heart started pounding so loudly he could barely hear his own voice when he managed, "Okay."

But he couldn't help leaning forward once again for another hungry kiss; the feel of Sin's lips against his, the taste of him, it drove him insane. His eyes remained open, a deeper brown than the usual honey, and after several long seconds he pulled away so he could murmur against his partner's mouth, "We need lube. It's in my duffel bag."

Sin's eyebrows arched up and he pulled Boyd away from the wall, pushing him towards the couch and the bag that lay on the floor next to it. He undid his jeans absently, eyes never leaving Boyd's face as he let them pool around his ankles. His erection sprang up, large and so hard that the veins were practically popping out of the skin and he stepped out of the jeans, pushing Boyd down onto the couch. "Get it," He ordered softly.

Boyd stared at Sin, unable to look away from the sight he made. His erection was almost painful inside his pants, but for all that he wanted Sin it still took him a moment to react. After several nights of fantasizing about this, he almost couldn't believe it was actually happening, as if maybe this was in his imagination too. But when Sin gave him orders like that it gave him something to focus on, and that helped him start thinking again. Snapping his eyes away from Sin's body he reached for his bag, quickly searching through it and almost cursing when he thought for a second he had lost the lube.

Jerking the tube out of the bag and setting it next to him on the couch, he turned back to Sin with eyes that hungrily surveyed his body. Without saying anything, he fumbled with his pants until he was able to pull them off, freeing his hard erection. He yanked his shirt off and threw it to the side, and only at that point did he look back up at Sin's face. He grabbed the tube in one hand and, kneeling on the couch, yanked Sin closer by the arm. "I want you. Really fucking badly," He rasped, meeting Sin's mouth for another frantic kiss.

Sin's heart was hammering in his chest as their tongues clashed and he hovered above Boyd, both hands resting against the back of the couch, leaning down as his hair curtained around them. His breath was coming hard and he pulled away after a moment, staring down at Boyd wildly, obviously incredibly turned on by everything that was happening as he knelt on the couch. "Just tell me what to do," He said as his eyes wandered over Boyd's body. "Tell me how to not hurt you."

Not answering at first, Boyd squeezed a large amount of lube onto his hand before he looked back up at Sin with unconcealed desire. "Normally we could prepare more, but today fuck it." Dropping his gaze to his hands, he liberally spread the lube on Sin's erection. Sin shuddered slightly as he watched Boyd's fingers from under his long eyelashes. "Just push inside me then wait for my okay." Boyd stared at him for a long moment before shifting so that he was facing away from Sin, crouched on all fours.

Sin licked his lips as he knelt behind Boyd, running his hands along his smooth, tight ass, as excitement mixed with the anxiety. A million thoughts ran through his mind, a million doubts since he didn't really know what the fuck he was doing but paranoia gave way to lust and he grabbed the base of his dick, shifting slightly as he slowly guided the tip of it into Boyd. The feeling was indescribable, the warmth and the tightness making his eyes roll to the back of his head as a loud groan escaped his mouth. He didn't know if he was supposed to be slow, if he was supposed to wait and see if it was okay, he thought he heard Boyd grunt in pain but he couldn't stop himself from shoving the entire length of his erection inside of Boyd. "Oh fuck," He hissed and clutched Boyd's shoulders tightly, fighting the obviously instinctual urge to start pounding. "Okay?" He asked hoarsely, voice strained.

Boyd tilted his head down, his hair hiding any bit of expression Sin may have been able to see. Panting, he shook his head and managed to say in an equally strained voice, "It's fine, just— wait..." Closing his eyes, he concentrated on relaxing his body, getting used to the sensation. Sin was much larger than either of the people he had slept with before and lubing himself might not have been a bad idea but he was too impatient for all of that. He grit his teeth slightly, eyes squeezed shut as he ignored the slow burn of his body adjusting to Sin's size. He could feel Sin shifting behind him slightly, his body tense and trembling a little from resisting the urge to move and finally Boyd just didn't want to wait anymore. "Okay," he murmured finally, urgently, "Do it."

Sin swallowed hard, adam's apple bobbing and he nodded stiffly even though he knew Boyd wouldn't be able to see him. His hands were like steel vices on Boyd's shoulders, gripping almost hard enough to bruise but he didn't seem to notice or to be doing it on purpose. His mind was racing and for some reason it kept going back to the things he'd seen and heard when he'd lived in China at Mrs. Wong's Massage Parlor. He pulled out of Boyd before slowly, experimentally pushing into him again, doing it several times in the same almost agonizingly slow, careful manner each time. He was breathing hard, lips parted and his eyes slightly glassy as he tried to be easy, tried not to go too fast when he still wasn't really sure what the hell he was doing exactly but... but he couldn't continue that way for long. It felt too good; Boyd's body was too tight, too fucking hot around his throbbing cock and after a moment, his hips were snapping against Boyd harder, faster.

"Fuck," Boyd hissed, eyes sliding shut and mouth dropping open. Half-heard moans became louder and uncontrolled until he didn't even realize he was making noise. The feel of Sin pounding into him was making him painfully hard. His skin was hot, sweaty and tingling, his entire mind focused on Sin inside him, the urgency and intensity and fuck he had really needed this. His hair jerked around his face, pieces catching on his lips as he breathed in audible, quick pants that mingled with his heightening moans. Moving with Sin, Boyd barely heard himself groan wildly, "Fuck yes, harder!"

All confused thoughts and anxiety was gone from Sin's mind, completely replaced by primal, instinctual pleasure and response. He needed no further encouragement from Boyd and as he began moving against Boyd faster, his dick slid in and out of his body in a way that would have seemed almost violent if it wasn't for the ecstatic screams that were echoing around the room. Moans thick with lust escaped Sin's lips, accompanied by the occasional obscenity in English and sometimes in Mandarin. He seemed completely lost in the act and soon both of their bodies were slick with sweat.

Sin's mind was reeling, entire body thrumming with pleasure and without even really thinking about what he was doing he wrapped one arm around Boyd's chest and hoisted him up, supporting Boyd easily with his powerful upper body so that his back was crushed against Sin's chest although they were still partially bent over. He didn't stop slamming his dick into Boyd even as he turned his face to the side roughly with his free hand and began kissing him with a hungry, intense desperation, a kiss which was sloppy, wet, and more tongue movement than lip as they panted and moaned.

It may have been the change in angle or maybe it was just coincidence, but as Boyd was reeling from the sensations he suddenly felt something he never had before. Something jolted through him, a wave of such intense pleasure that he was completely overwhelmed. His eyes widened, dilated and glazed from lust, his back arched sharply and he screamed hoarsely in pleasure. Without even touching his own erection he came almost violently, the orgasm resounding through him as intensely as the feeling of Sin slamming into him.

Long streams of semen spurted everywhere as Boyd came and his muscles clenched around Sin's erection tightly. Sin swore loudly, panting noisily as he continued to drive his dick into Boyd, moaning uncontrollably as he fucked him hard and fast. His hands were tight on Boyd's body, gripping violently as something hot coiled in his stomach and the impending orgasm began to build inside of him. He moved faster, eyes squeezing shut and when he finally came deep inside of Boyd, he cried out loudly and incoherently.

When the intense orgasm subsided and his hips finally stilled, he practically collapsed on top of Boyd, pinning him to the couch.

Boyd breathed raggedly from his open mouth, his chest heaving beneath Sin's weight as he tried to catch his breath. His arms were at a slightly awkward angle and the cushion beneath his temple was sticky and wet from the semen, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His entire body was still thrumming from the aftermath; he was exhausted but completely sated, his heart pounding as hard and fast as their bodies had been just moments before.

He shifted and looked over at Sin as best he could from his angle. Sin's expression was dazed; his full lips were open as he panted and his eyelashes looked especially dark against his flushed skin. Pale green eyes were still a little glazed and not quite focusing on anything. Boyd felt something in him warm at the view, something that made him reach over and pull Sin into a slow, lingering kiss. Their position was a little awkward for the kiss but Boyd was not thinking of that. His eyes fell half-closed and even if he could barely move between the weight on him and his tingling limbs, he found that it didn't scare him the way being pinned down in any manner usually would. Pulling away from the kiss, he blinked languidly and murmured, still a little dazed himself, "Holy shit."

Sin's lips curved up into a small grin and he shifted finally, skin sliding against Boyd's as he leaned backwards on the couch so that Boyd could sit up at a more comfortable angle. "Does that mean it was okay?" he asked hoarsely.

Boyd could not help a laugh from deep in his throat, a grin pulling at his mouth as he nodded. "Better than okay. God," he drawled, pushing himself up and staring at Sin in amazement. "I don't know what the fuck you did, but I think I almost died for a minute there."

Sin raised an eyebrow and snorted softly, reaching out to brush hair out of Boyd's face. For a moment he wondered if Boyd was lying to make him feel better but for some reason he doubted that was something Boyd would do. It made him feel somewhat smug that he'd apparently done something very right and he smirked slightly. "Well I don't know either so let's hope it happens again somehow." After the words left his mouth he was kind of sorry that he'd said it although he knew Boyd didn't care about his inexperience. Male pride was a stupid thing but he supposed it was unavoidable.

"So," he said casually, shifting so that he could slump down onto the couch with his head pillowed by the arm rest. "Was it better than with Thierry?"

"Hmm." Boyd watched Sin, pretending to think about that deeply. "I don't know," he said slowly, drawing the words out as a wicked little smirk grew. He moved closer so he could lean in, lips hovering just above Sin's, his honey brown eyes glinting with mischief. "Thierry gave me some payment, so..." He trailed off pointedly.

For a moment Sin's eyes narrowed and he stared at Boyd incredulously for a long while before finally rolling his eyes and shoving Boyd off the couch unceremoniously. "You're such a whore."

Laughing, Boyd sat back up, resting his arms on the couch and grinning at Sin. "I prefer the term 'Creative Acquirer Via Intercourse,' and you were much better, thank you." He paused then added clearly just to tease him, "Even if I get nothing out of it."

"You got to have my cock in you, that's enough," Sin drawled, pushing Boyd lightly with one of his feet. There was an amused smile playing on his lips and he stared at Boyd through his bangs as he reached around on the floor for the pack of cigarettes that had most likely fallen out of his jeans pocket. "It wasn't as horrible as I thought it'd be."

The comment made Boyd want to ask several things, but instead he just smiled at Sin a little enigmatically and stood, looking for their clothes. When he found Sin's pants, he tossed them at him and tried to locate what he had been wearing. "I can't concentrate with you like that. Put some clothes on, you little nudist."

Sin shrugged one deeply tanned shoulder and pushed his shoulders against the couch to give himself leverage so that he could lift his hips and slide back into his jeans although he didn't bother zipping them up and continued to lounge on the sofa. With his hair unruly and hanging everywhere, green eyes heavy lidded and face flushed, he looked well fucked and satisfied. "Little..." He trailed off although he raised an eyebrow. "What are you trying to say exactly?"

Boyd pulled his clothes back on and walked back to the couch. Running his eyes up and down Sin's body slowly, he could not believe how incredibly sexy the man could be, and without seeming to try or even be aware of it. Did he even know what he did to Boyd, how he could capture his attention with a single look, how being fucked like that just made him want more? It'd been amazing; Boyd still couldn't quite get over how much better it was than he'd expected. And whatever the hell Sin did... Just the thought of it made his eyes fall half-shut. Kneeling with one leg on either side of Sin's, he leaned in to lightly suck on one of Sin's earlobes. "I didn't mean this," he whispered into his ear, sliding one hand down idly to rest on Sin's crotch. "It was a figure of speech."

Sin shuddered slightly at the sensation of Boyd's lips on his ear and was still somewhat bemused by the fact that it seemed to be such a sensitive spot for him. "You better not have meant that," He mumbled. "Or I'd have to punish you and make you rethink your assessment." He gazed up at Boyd through his eyelashes and smirked. "Now bring me some food, slave."

"I don't see how I got the stereotypical female assignment in this," Boyd lamented. He sat back and brought his hands up to Sin's shoulders, running his thumbs idly along his skin. "Don't you want to make me something instead?" He blinked slowly, and there was something teasing in his expression even if at the moment he was trying to pout. As he was not accustomed to pouting, and it was entirely out of character for him, he was almost too amused to pull it off correctly.

"I am making you something," Sin replied calmly, reaching up to rub his thumb against Boyd's lower lip. "I'm making you into my bitch."

Boyd blinked and was startled into laughter. "Well," he mused, "How could I ever refuse a romantic proposition like that? Do you plan to make me anything else aside from your bitch and slave?"

Sin seemed to consider this for a moment before responding. "I can't say that there is anything else in my itinerary, so no."

"Be sure to warn me with a memo when my job description changes," Boyd said, his eyes glinting in amusement. "It would be embarrassing to show up in my bitch garb when I've been promoted to fuckbuddy, for instance."

"I can't be bothered with such trivial things," Sin said in a mildly chiding tone. "I suggest you devise clever ways to figure it out on your own. Now get my food. Bitch."

Boyd stayed there for a moment, as if debating bantering more or not responding to the command. But in the end he inclined his head, a sexy little smirk pulling at his lips, and murmured, "As you wish." He crawled off Sin and headed to the kitchen where he filled the plates he had oh so hopefully placed out before. The food was still warm since it had been in pots on the stove, and within a few minutes he returned to the couch, setting the plates and some silverware on the living room table in front of Sin. He sat next to him and pulled one of the plates and silverware sets closer, watching Sin idly as he tried to think how best to bring up the subject he wanted to talk about.

Sin sat up, folding his legs in front of him as he grabbed one of the plates and began eating ravenously, seeming to genuinely enjoy the meal Boyd had prepared.

Comfortable silence settled between them while they ate, though Sin's food was disappearing far more quickly than Boyd's. It wasn't until Sin finished the first plate then refilled it and sat back down that Boyd tilted his head and finally spoke. "Normally," he said with careful casualness, "sex is not horrible. Is there a reason you thought it would be?" Although he was almost positive he knew why, he didn't want Sin to know he knew even that much.

Sin shrugged absently, spooning some potatoes and meat into his mouth. "It wasn't particularly pleasant any other time I was exposed to it," He replied.

"When was that?" Boyd asked calmly, continuing to eat from his same plate of food.

"When I was seven--no," Sin paused in his chewing and seemed to ponder that for a moment. "No, I was eight, I think."

Boyd watched him a moment. God, that was young. "What... happened?" He tried to keep his expression and body language non-intimidating so Sin would not feel pressured into answering, even if Sin seemed less troubled by the topic than Boyd was so far.

Sin began eating again although he looked at Boyd sidelong through his bangs. "Have I told you anything of my mother?"

"I don't think so," Boyd said with a slight shake of his head though he continued eating.

"Well," Sin began, his face returning to his usual serious, almost unreadable expression. "She was Chinese-- I was born in the brothel she worked at in Hong Kong. She was a whore and that is how she met my father, that is why I was born." His tone was void of any real emotion as he spoke of his mother although there was a slight edge, a glint in his eye. "She was quite deranged."

So Ryan was right about his mother's occupation. "Why do you say that?" Boyd asked.

Sin shrugged, his expression bland. "She was incestuous and a pedophile I suppose. She liked for me to watch when she entertained johns and would quiz me on what I'd seen later to make sure that I was knowledgeable for when I had customers of my own."

Boyd blinked, surprised by both the information and how casually candid Sin was about it. "Ah," he said after a moment. "I would say that is probably an apt description then..." He paused. "Customers... So she planned for you to stay there and... become like her?"

"I suppose it was a natural assumption to make," Sin replied. "I'd never gone to school and the brothel was all I knew. They began... training me on my eighth birthday because apparently they'd considered that an appropriate age to begin work. Apparently I had to earn my keep." Something in his face flickered, darkened, and his eyes slid away for a moment. "I wasn't cooperative but their training was preferable to the punishments I'd get if I did not do as I was told."

Boyd narrowed his eyes, feeling anger grow on Sin's behalf. What the hell kind of way was that to treat a child? Who could do that to their own kid? So many questions clamored in his mind, and it was all he could think that no wonder Sin was unstable if this was what he'd been exposed to since he'd been a very small child. "What sort of punishment?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level.

Sin cleared his throat and set his plate on the table, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. "The brothel had a cellar and the cellar had no windows, no lights except for a single bulb on the ceiling that I could not reach to turn on. It was infested with rats and other vermin, but they would lock me down there for hours or days at a time depending on how poorly I behaved, often locked inside one of the large shipment crates that Mrs. Wong received for her front business."

Eyes widening, Boyd stared at Sin in something akin to horror. "You— God, your claustrophobia. That's where it came from." He knew what it felt like to have a fear start then expound, to be used against him as punishment or a form of control, though Sin had dealt with that far more than Boyd ever did. He set his plate down and could not help moving closer to Sin, reaching out to lightly run his fingers through Sin's hair. "That's... terrible."

Sin closed his eyes briefly, relaxing slightly at the feel of Boyd's touch. "I was not fond of it."

Noticing the effect, Boyd did not stop touching with Sin's hair and let the familiar feel of silky hair brushing his fingers try to calm him as well. "What did the training entail?"

A humorless smile curved on Sin's lips. "Teaching me how to pleasure men and women alike, often making me 'practice' on her. Mostly through oral stimulation since I was not capable of anything else at that age. Although she taught me how to please women, I suspect that it was always her intention that I would be a candidate for men with fetishes for young boys and that is whom my first 'client' was."

Boyd slid his eyes closed, feeling rather sick at the thought. He managed to keep his hand moving through Sin's hair, though. When he opened his eyes, he was able to ask in a relatively calm voice, "What happened with the client?" He almost felt like he shouldn't be prying into Sin's past so much, but he also knew that Sin could stop him whenever he wanted.

Sin didn't flinch as he spoke and he looked Boyd directly in the eye. "I was forced to perform oral sex on him but when he was... in my mouth, something came over me. I suppose... the same thing that comes over me now when I am threatened," He spoke slowly, gaze finally sliding away. "I bit him viciously and I was punished severely. Days later he was asked to return and I was given to him free of charge. He was careful not to scar my face, as instructed, but despite that I hemorrhaged profusely from my rectum and was unable to 'work' again for quite some time."

Sin shrugged. "I suppose it was a blessing in a way. In my recovery time, my mother died and I was no longer expected to work."

Boyd wanted to look away from Sin's gaze but could not; he felt caught by that unflinching stare that seemed less affected by the story than Boyd was. He was disgusted by the idea of that being forced on Sin, of an entire building that allowed it, of a man that would do that to a child. Mingled with the disgust came anger directed at the same people, at everyone who contributed one more reason for Sin to be unstable later, for him to have ended up in the state and position he was when Boyd first met him. But he was also sad for Sin, he knew Sin never wanted pity from anyone but he couldn't help but feel terrible for everything he'd gone through.

"That's fucking—" Boyd had to stop himself before he could let the anger take over his voice. He shook his head to himself once. "No wonder you were so hesitant." He finally pulled his hand back and watched Sin. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't push you into it."

Sin looked at Boyd and shook his head. "It's fine. You didn't know. I don't get emotional over it but it is the reason why I always attributed sex to violence." He shifted on the couch and sucked absently on his lip ring. "My father came to get me after that. He..." Sin trailed off for a moment, smirking almost fondly. "I suppose he was very struck with the idea of rescuing me but once he actually had me, he had no idea what to do with me."

Boyd could not stop a helpless 'heh' of amusement at that. Sitting back, he played with Sin's hair again and tilted his head with a bemused expression. "That is very possible. ...We both ended up with slightly incapable parents, didn't we?"

"I would have to agree," Sin said with a nod. "Although, I prefer my father."

"Do you think about him a lot?" Boyd asked after a moment.

Sin shrugged again and it seemed as though he was trying to appear nonchalant although it was obvious from the way his eyes dropped and darkened, that he was anything but. "Yes. When I am alone. But I try not to unless of course I have a dream, which I cannot help."

Boyd watched him a moment. "Do you have any good memories of him at all that are not tinged with something negative?" he asked softly.

"It depends on what you think is negative," He responded. "I don't particularly view my training as negative even though I know other people do. I think it made me stronger, it made me capable of defending myself and others if I had to and it gave me a purpose. However, that doesn't necessarily mean I think it was entirely good either." Sin seemed frustrated for a moment and he began sucking on his lip ring yet again, a habit that seemed to occur when he was lost in thought. "I don't know. It's strange to think about him. I don't remember everything that happened towards the end and I don't want to."

Boyd's gaze was drawn to the lip ring as always, but this time he watched more absently than anything. "If you needed the training, then I'm glad he was there for it. And... I'm glad he was there to take you away from China." He couldn't keep the undercurrent of anger out of his voice at that. "I just... I can't believe... Even my mother—" He stopped himself abruptly, rethinking what he'd been about to say, and looked away pensively. He intended to comment that even his mother would not have done to him what Sin's mother did to Sin, and he thought it was true. Then again, when she found out about Thierry, she did tell him to whore himself for the Agency more in the future if they wanted him to but to also make sure he was good at it or it would embarrass her. He knew it was not nearly on the same level as what Sin's mother had done to him, but they did both seem to have a certain disregard for the wellbeing of their children. But it also didn't seem appropriate or fair to compare their mothers; for all that Vivienne had been, said and done to Boyd, he didn't think she reached the same level as Sin's mother simply because Sin's mother had hurt Sin as much as she'd let him be hurt. Then again, it was possible she didn't know any better. Even if that were the case, it wasn't a good excuse to Boyd; he still wished that Sin hadn't had to deal with any of that and he knew he didn't agree with the way either parent had treated Sin. Boyd shook his head to himself to clear his mind, recognizing that his thoughts were taking him nowhere. "I'm glad you're here," he said instead. "Though I don't understand why you came in to the Agency. You could have stayed away, couldn't you?"

Sin continued to look away from him, eyes hidden by his fall of hair. "I suppose I could have. To be honest, I don't remember many things that happened during the time of my father's death."

He paused for a moment and tilted his head to the side, closing his eyes briefly. His eyebrows drew together slightly and he shook his head. "I was unconscious for an extensive period of time but when I came to I had several injuries, including a somewhat severe concussion which is probably why I cannot remember much of the event. Anyway, he was gone and I was alone in a field covered in blood. Someone must have gotten to us somehow-- must have found out where he lived and who he was but--" He broke off suddenly, looking over at Boyd. "Anyway, I didn't know what to do. All I knew was what he'd taught me and what my mother had taught me. I'd never been to school, I'd never had very much contact with civilians, I didn't know how to be a civilian. The only thing for me to do was either to become my mother or become my father and I chose to be my father."

Boyd considered that then tilted his head in thought. Considering how adept Sin was at his job, and Emilio was supposed to be even more, he couldn't even begin to imagine who had been strong enough to kill him or what had happened to Sin in the fight. But considering the fact that Sin was still training at the time, he was probably an easier target and had been attacked first. That seemed especially plausible if there was a group, which was very likely since Emilio was an agent and anyone going after him should have been well-prepared. They probably didn't realize that Sin was as much of a threat even at that young an age as he was which was probably why they'd left him for dead after getting rid of Emilio. "I see," he said at length. "You were alone? Was there... Did you see a body?"

Sin shook his head slowly. "I don't remember... I don't--"

Even in the darkness the grass was vividly green, the moonlight giving it a slight silvery tint. It was silent in the field with the exception of a soft sliding sound, like something being dragged across the ground.

Sin stiffened and blinked, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it. "I never saw--"

Something was being dragged across the field unceremoniously, a long streak of blood was left on the grass behind it.

Sin shuddered and hunched forward suddenly, covering his face with his hands for a long moment as he swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. "Fuck."

"Shit," Boyd hissed, and immediately moved closer to Sin. "Fuck, I'm sorry," he muttered apologetically, irritated with himself. "I didn't—" He stopped and shook his head. "I wasn't thinking, I shouldn't have asked..."

Sin was breathing slightly fast, his heart pounding in his chest as he tried to block out the images that were assaulting him. "It's okay," He said in a slightly strained voice, trying to regain his composure, trying not to look as weak as he felt. "I just get flashes sometimes."

"It happens," Boyd said in what he hoped was a comforting tone. "I understand well; it happens to me too sometimes."

Sin nodded, keeping his eyes closed. "I'm pathetic and embarrassing."

"No you aren't, not at all," Boyd said firmly, with absolutely no doubt in his tone. "It's a normal reaction... I'm asking you about something very personal and traumatic. Most people wouldn't even be able to talk about it at all. You're a hell of a lot more composed than I am when I start thinking about Lou, for instance. So, it's not your fault and you're not being weak. At all."

Sin grumbled something inaudible but for the most part it seemed that he'd calmed down. The memories were no longer assaulting him; he no longer saw ashen skin and blank, staring green eyes. Sin took a deep breath and sat up straight again. "Anyway... I guess I just came back because it was what he trained me to do; to be an assassin. It was the only thing I knew how to do and that I was good at. Besides, he'd always intended to bring me in to become an agent once I was old enough."

"Ah," Boyd said and tilted his head. That answered his other question. "That makes sense. But do you... ever regret it? Coming into the Agency? If you hadn't, you wouldn't have had all that hassle, and the fourth..."

"I used to regret it," Sin said honestly although he was surprised by the fact that he was actually admitting to it. "I'd considered running away before, of just getting the fuck out of there." He finally lit his cigarette and took a long drag. "But there's nothing else for me. I can't be anything else other than what I am. It's just the way it is and I have to take what comes with it."

"But you could have been that without the collar and all that attached. What if you had just been a vigilante? Or," and there was nothing in Boyd's tone but honest curiosity and a wish to understand, "was it that you needed the orders for who to target because on your own you had no opinion?"

Sin looked at Boyd for a long moment and exhaled smoke slowly. "I think... at that point in my life, if I were left to my own devices, I would have had trouble distinguishing between who was a target and who wasn't. When I become very violent, that is what tends to happen. That is partially why they decided that I needed a partner. Who knows where I would have been without even the slightest of parameters." He licked his lips and slouched further in the couch, absently scratching his stomach. "Like I told you the other day, my father always said that a man with no morals was a man that needed to be controlled. A man who could kill without asking questions was a man to be feared. I was like that for a long time."

"On the other hand, don't teach a man to kill unless you first know he asks questions," Boyd pointed out. He tilted his head and watched Sin, his tone serious. "I don't mean to constantly challenge what happened. If you needed the training to control what was happening with you, then it's good it was there. But I still completely disagree with his intention to make you his legacy when he wasn't even holding you to the same standards as himself. In my opinion, he shouldn't have tried to make you be something you weren't naturally, or at the very least he should not have done it the way it sounds like he did. He could have taught you control without teaching you to kill, and if he taught you to kill then it was his responsibility to make damn sure you were someone who could handle it. If he was so certain that morals were necessary, that questioning was mandatory, then he should have taught you that too. He can't give you half of what he wants you to know or be and then magically expect you to be the rest on your own unless you have guidance." He paused and shrugged with one shoulder. "I... know you prefer your father. I'm not trying to insult you. It's just... I'm sorry, but he pisses me off."

Sin shrugged and didn't seem particularly angry about it. "It's fine. Although, in his defense, he didn't know that I was the way I was. He didn't know how I would be. I was only eight when he acquired me-- he probably assumed I was a clean slate, ready to be molded into whatever he wished. He did not become aware of my peculiarities until it was too late. He didn't realize the extent of it until I began to hurt people that didn't necessarily warrant the violence."

He took another drag. "But I suppose you're right in a way. He assumed I would know things that I could not possibly know. I never knew trust or anything other than violence. I never knew how to react in a way other than with violence because of that. He tried to teach me once he became aware that I was not exactly how he'd intended me to become but he never got the opportunity to continue whatever he'd planned to do." There was a slight pause and Sin looked somewhat bemused. "Heh. It's strange how I can talk about this now as if I've changed when I really haven't."

Boyd quirked an eyebrow. "What, you don't think you have at all?"

"Well," Sin began slowly, seeming to ponder. "I am more reflective now and I now have the ridiculous tendency to over analyze every single thing that I do. But..." He trailed off for a moment and thought about Anderson McCall. "But I suspect that may be because I no longer want to be the monster that everyone thinks I am. Because I have someone whose opinion matters to me. Although I was never the cold-blooded butcher of innocent women and children that everyone stupidly thinks I am, I am still as ruthless as ever when I need to be." Sin looked Boyd in the face again, locking eyes with his. "I guarantee you, that will never change."

Boyd felt strangely pleased to hear that Sin cared about his opinion, that someone cared what he thought. But as he made eye contact with Sin, he did not seem bothered at all by the idea of Sin always being ruthless. He shrugged and leaned against the back of the couch. "I just wanted to point out that you are not only capable of reacting violently to everything. You can't hold the same standards to your reactions in a mission or fight as you do in every day life. If you were only capable of violence, then you wouldn't learn and you'd never be gentle. You wouldn't be asking me if I'm alright or let me touch you, and you certainly would never have sat there and listened as I talked about..." His gaze dropped distractedly to his wrist, where the jagged scar ran along the vein. That reminded him suddenly of something Sin had said before, and he asked softly before he could stop himself, "Did you really try to commit suicide too?"

"Yes. I'd intended to blow my brains out but my father was more intuitive than I'd thought imaginable and he thwarted me." Once again it was said in a completely offhanded, matter of fact tone.

"Heh," Boyd said, a completely humorless breath of air, and he unconsciously slid one arm around his stomach even as he continued to stare at his scar. "You too." He looked up, watching Sin. "Why did you try? How did he stop you?"

Sin shrugged calmly. "I'm not entirely sure I remember why I wanted to. I know I had constant nightmares about my mother at that time; her memory plagued me constantly. I reacted poorly to the stress and he must have noticed. He knocked sense into me though and I learned to handle it better. He said that was one of the most important things for an assassin; to know how to handle stress and memories or it could drive you insane. I guess he was right about something." He finished his cigarette. "But enough about my father. I'm curious about yours."

Boyd was absorbing Sin's explanation when he realized what Sin said. He blinked at the subject change, looking genuinely confused. "Ah, my... What about him? Didn't you read a file on him?"

"Some of it but just things about his professional life mostly. I'm curious as to what kind of father he was," Sin said, not giving away the fact that he'd seen a home video of the man.

"Oh." Boyd watched him thoughtfully, trying to think about that. "I don't know," he said after a moment, shaking his head to himself. "What exactly do you want to know? I mean, I think he was a good father mostly. He died when I was pretty young, so... I only have so many memories."

"Was he kind?" Sin asked curiously. "How good of a parent was he in contrast to your mother?"

Boyd could not help a darkly amused sound at that. "Nearly anyone would be better than her as a parent. She loved him, not me." His eyes narrowed in thought. "But... Yes, he was kind. I mean..." He shrugged with one shoulder, saying a little softer, "I think he actually did love me."

Sin seemed to think about that for a moment before pressing for more information. "Was he affectionate?"

He thought about that then looked back up at Sin and tilted his head, nodding. "Yes. Mostly." His eyes grew a little distant as he remembered his father, thought about specific instances. "It was just... he wasn't around a lot and even when he was home there were long periods of them when he was so backlogged on work that he spent all of his time in the computer room. The door would be closed, the light on, I could hear the keys, but I knew I wasn't supposed to disturb him. But, when he wasn’t in there?"

Boyd nodded. "He loved to be around me. He used to play games with me... He liked Lou, too, even though my mother never did. He wanted to be a murder mystery novelist, actually. And... We have this creepy attic that we never use. My mother... She loved my father, he loved her. I could tell it. But when they'd fight about something stupid – I mean, just normal fights people have – she usually won just because she's so fucking determined. Lou used to stay over and sometimes my mother would be disapproving, would try to say he had to go home, we didn't have the resources for another kid running around. So my father set up this fort in the attic with these terrible dusty old sheets they probably got for a wedding gift, and then he brought up a flashlight. And we used to sit there in a circle. He'd tell us ghost stories, maybe plots and ideas he had for his books..."

Boyd looked nostalgic and amused. "When he was really young, those ghost stories scared the shit out of Lou. It was funny because later he was such a punk. I used to tease him about how he'd cower. But my father..." Boyd shook his head to himself. "He'd scare us but when he thought we were really upset, if something was really wrong, he'd stop immediately and... I guess I always knew I could hug him. He had these huge warm arms and he just... enveloped me." He fell silent at that, not really knowing what else to say.

Sin watched Boyd for a moment, digesting this information and deciding that the description of Cedrick seemed to fit exactly with the way he'd viewed the man in the home video. He seemed the exact opposite of his own father in many ways, just like Vivienne was the exact opposite of his mother. "How did a man like that wind up with a woman like Madam Beaulieu?" He asked with an arched eyebrow, using the name he usually addressed her by.

"Madam?" Boyd echoed in amusement, quirking an eyebrow and looking over. "I hadn't heard that one yet."

"Because I'm the only one who calls her that," Sin replied. "It is the only thing she seems to approve of when it comes to me."

"Ahh. It's interesting that you're bothering to please her at all." Boyd tilted his head slightly, watching Sin curiously. "Do you care about her approval because she is a superior?"

Sin made a face at Boyd. "No," he scoffed. "I don't see any of those people as my 'superiors,' I just do not see reason to exacerbate her dislike of me when she is one of the two people with the authority to lock me up in that box." He shrugged one shoulder and lit another cigarette, inhaling deeply and exhaling out of his nose. "I suppose, despite the fact that she is a poor mother to you, I have always had a grain of respect for her just because many other women I have encountered have always used their sexuality to get what they want. People dislike her because she seems cold-blooded, she seems like a bitch, but so does Connors and no one gives him disrespectful nicknames. It's simply because she is a woman that they act like that. However I do not think she would take kindly to me having that opinion and it would probably offend her in some way just because it was coming from me." He paused for a minute, pondering. "I bet she'd hate me even more if she knew I just fucked her son."

"Oh, she's already had plenty of time to consider that," Boyd said mildly. "She asked me months ago if you got to sleep with me for missions well done. A reward system, you know. At the time I thought her insane, but..." He paused, pretending to seriously consider it. "I wonder if what you get would be related to how much effort you put into the mission and how much you messed up. If you did a terrible job then there wouldn't even be a kiss, but a mission perfectly executed would mean you get to fuck me into the couch all night long." He raised his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Maybe that's the incentive you needed all along."

Sin stared at Boyd for a moment as if trying to figure out if he were truly suggesting this as a system for their partnership. He didn't think Boyd was being serious but at the same time, if he was, he found that it did not particularly offend him as much as it would have before. "I think," He began slowly, "That you are the biggest whore I've ever encountered." Sin took another drag from his cigarette, watching Boyd through the smoke that drifted between them, a rakish grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. "And I kind of like it."

"How nice," Boyd said mildly, very amused but giving little indication that he was teasing. "You call my mother 'Madam' and me a whore. Honestly, what discrimination when I'm just being practical. After all, I've always excelled at utilizing my skills. Which reminds me; you don't mind if I pay my half of the rent with something other than money, do you?"

"I suppose since you don't do much else but sit on your ass all day, you have little choice," Sin replied and grabbed one of Boyd's arms, yanking him forward so that